If you're the mom of grown up kids you know how awkward forging the adult to adult relationship can be. I've had to learn that no matter how much experience I've had. no matter how I want to cling, no matter how much money I loan, er give them, I can no longer control my kids. For a long time when they were young, control felt like love and concern. But maybe I'm just twisted. No matter.
I asserted a bit of control a couple of weeks ago with my oldest daughter and now I must apologize. It was a silly thing to do and she didn't object but she must have wondered if I still have all my marbles. Her car was in the body shop getting beautiful after living in the city for a while so I let her drive my Audi for a couple of weeks. That may not sound like a very big deal, but I love my car. Her name is Pearl and we've been together for seven happy years. She has a few scratches and one badly repaired dent but I love her in the way one loves a great old pair of leather loafers that cost way too much.
My daughter has a dependency problem. She must have music at all times. Her musical taste varies and her knowledge of local bands and artists is extensive. I like some of her music and some of it makes my hair hurt.
The truth is, I really didn't want to loan out my car, but my girl was starting a new job and I couldn't see her driving to work in our old 89' Chevy pickup that only starts half the time. So to keep a little control over my darling Pearl I informed my daughter that I dind't want her to mix up the cds in the changer in my car. I wanted the car returned to me with Roxy Music in the number two position and my soundtrack from Garden State in number five. She was a very good girl and used her ipod instead of my cd changer the entire two weeks she drove Pearl.
It was only after daughter number two told me how funny the joke was, the one about me insisting that the cds be in the right order, that I realized how silly the request was. The truth is that I only listen to two of the six cds in the changer. I was just hanging on to a scrap of control. Over Pearl. Over my daughter. Over anything in my life.
I'm sorry. It was silly. I'm so proud of you. I'm letting go. Gradually.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
All is forgiven, mommy. Mostly because I guess I inherited your control freakishiness and totally understood your need to keep the CDs in order. I wouldn't have gone in and changed your radio presets either. It's all the same thing, as far as I am concerned.
Post a Comment